Greetings, Comrades! I bring you GREAT news! Today, our Fearless Leaders have decided to help end the struggle of the working class Mortgage Lenders and Investment Bankers! For too long, they have been oppressed by needless bureaucratic intervention; but they were freed not too long ago by our Fearless Leaders in an attempt to bring greatness back to the People! They fought valiantly in their struggle, and it appeared all was lost. Then, once again…our Fearless Leaders came forth and offered a new, guaranteed way of ensuring the Greatness of The Peoples’ Republic Of Wall Street!
We, the People shall now share the burden of their struggle for solvency by lending our vast resources to them once again, so that we may show the World the vast power and strength of our Financial Markets! We shall all have to work harder and contribute more of our income…but think of the glory and potential profits, Comrades! Think of it! We shall finally make our Institutions of Finance greater than they ever have been before; and if we cannot achieve that in in this generation, then surely your children and your grandchildren will pick up our vast Legacy!
Our struggle may not be over yet, Comrades! Do not let a false sense of security lull you into letting down your guard for the greater good! Our Fearless Leaders may ask more of us in the future; we may have to give up our food and health care benefits or possibly send our Sons and Daughters off to fight a war in order to maintain our Greatness! Fear not! We shall prevail as we always have Comrades, and our Corporate Institutions will be stronger than ever, and though we may give up much, we shall all be better and stronger for it. Be brave! Stand united, Comrades!
For as it always has been, that which does not kill you makes you stronger!
“Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.” – Ronald Reagan