On September 12th, 2001 I awoke screaming. It was 2 in the afternoon; my wife had let me get as much rest as I could that day…but the first of the nightmares had become a part of my world. I still get them, only this time I don’t remember a lot of them. The only way I know I have one is when I wake up screaming and in a cold sweat, or when my wife and daughters come into the bedroom to see if I’m OK. It’s gotten better, but not a hell of a lot.
In short: I’m suffering from acute (and debilitating) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Oh, I was also diagnosed as bi-polar in 2004 in addition to the PTSD, and I finally admitted I was an alcoholic and stopped drinking (with a LOT of help) on March 27, 2006. There’s a lot of stuff that I plan on (and need to) write about regarding these past 7 years…but that’s for the future.
So what’s next?
Well, for me it will be (as always) taking care of my kids while my wife is at work (she’s a Registered Nurse and Saint…and not necessarily in that order). It will also involve daily posts on this Blog, as well as a memoir about the past seven years of my life that I finally got back to writing after too long an absence. Trust me, you couldn’t script a better movie ( I’m hoping that Mister Speilberg will direct, and Bradd Pitt can play me…yeah, RIGHT! LOL!) if you tried. But it’s my life…and it’s damned painful to go back and write about. You try revisting all your mistakes, sins, triumphs, and tragedies; it’s not pretty. It is necessary and cathartic for me though and between that, the kids and this Blog, I’ll have my hands full.
And what’s next for you, for all of us?
Will we have learned anything from the tragedy of 9/11, or will we continue to be a bellicose and belligerent people who show no mercy and regard for human life? Will we finally wake up and see that there is more to Being Human than merely being a Human Being? Will we finally realize that this country is in deep trouble and things need to change BIG TIME, starting with the President all the way on down to the Town Dog Catcher? Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to wake up and get ourselves together, because as I posted somewhere today than Man is transitory, the Soul is not.
We have this world of ours and our place in it for a reason. Why we are here, and who put us here, is always up for debate; those questions have caused more death and destruction in our history than any other. Clearly, the answer to those questions can come in a much more peaceful and enlightening manner. We can dream and make ourselves better, or continue down a path of destruction that will surely cause the end of all of us. We have a choice…it is not to late to alter the path we are on.
Most certainly if we do not, than I will have a lot more company sharing my nightmares.
COMING TOMORROW: A post about our wanna be VP, Governor Moosellini. Trust me, this one you wont want to miss.
AUTHOR’s NOTE: A big thanks to all of you who have read and e-mailed me and given me your faith and support. It really helped get me through today (9/11/08) more than you could ever imagine. Please pass that generous spirit on to others in your life. We draw strength through each other when we show compassion…pass that gift on to anyone you see today. Next to love, compasson is probably the highest state of Humanity we can attain (at least in my opinion).
SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MUDFLATS AND ITS WONDERFUL WEB-HUMAN, AKMuckraker! Thank you so much for your link to here and your own 9/11 post; it’s appreciated and I’ll try not to let your trust and faith in me down. You do AMAZING work up there in the Frozen North keeping the Flame of Truth burning brightly through the long Alaskan night!
“I am the arrow sprung forth from the bow; no hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear” -Jeffrey David Sinclair (Babylon 5)(jms)